Show Me The Meaning Of Being Loveless
by Dlbn
Summary: While in Kyoto to work on a photography project, teenage Aoyagi Ritsuka reconnects with pieces of both his past and the past he forgot existed, and learns the true meaning behind his true name. *Ritsuka birthday fic*


Dlbn: Happy birthday, Ritsuka-kun! 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless. Everyone canon belongs to Yun Kouga. I only own a few characters that Ritsuka encounters, who you'll meet in a bit. I make NO money off of writing for this category

000

Three years. Three years, two months, and ten days. It's been so long since he's been gone. The day Agatsuma Soubi walked out of the cemetery after Aoyagi Seimei was forever ingrained in the mind of Seimei's younger brother, Ritsuka. This man who took him to the graves of his parents and talked about his childhood, this man who had fought for him so many times in battle that he lost count, this man who kissed him and expressed his love for him on a daily basis…this man just up and left. His back facing him was one of the worst sights Ritsuka had ever seen. Not even Seimei's 'triumphant' return at Seven Voices Academy three years ago could compare.

Fifteen-year-old Aoyagi Ritsuka trudged through the streets of Kyoto one spring Saturday morning. The flowers and sakura trees were in full bloom, the sun was high and bright in the blue sky, and people were rushing to and fro; filling their Saturdays with activities with friends, family and lovers. Anyone else would have been enjoying the day, faces a light with laughter and hearts full of joy. But as he pulled his navy hoodie tighter around him, what Ritsuka felt was far from laughter and joy. He tried as hard as he could to not think about the things that plagued his sleepless nights and, when he did manage to sleep, his nightmares. He tried not to think about Soubi's strong arms wrapped around him and soft lips pressed to his temple. He tried not to think about his mother throwing insults, curses, and plates at him while declaring that he wasn't her son and needed to die. He tried not to think about the last time he saw his father, cavorting around town with some pretty woman and her-their?-laughing child. He tried not to think about Seimei's cold voice and equally cold words as he showed up to steal Soubi away. He tried not to think about Septimal Moon and Ritsu-sensei and the other members of the organization. He tried not to think about how Yoji and Natsuo had been reluctantly dragged back to the school for more training once it had been discovered that Seimei was still operating as a unit with two Fighters. He tried not to think about his slipping grades or the distance he felt growing between him and his classmates/friends Yuiko and Yayoi. But try as he might, the thoughts invaded his mind and the emotions welling up inside him were nothing positive.

He inched around a couple blocking the sidewalk by sharing a kiss goodbye-or hello?-in front of a coffee shop. It was rather disgusting, he had to admit. It was bad enough he had to see that at school every day with the happy little teenage couples in the near his locker. Did he really have to see it in the streets as well? The teen adjusted the strap to his messenger bag over his shoulder and gripped it with two hands as he moved forward, eyes glued to the ground. Maybe if he just ignored all the people around him, they'd go away. He looked up as he almost collided with a little girl who had stopped dead in her tracks. He scowled and walked around here, eyeing his target in the distance. The Kyoto city square was the perfect place to set up to make memories-or take pictures, as anyone else would have called it-and he was dead set on getting there as soon as possible. He'd left Tokyo at 8 am that morning, barely avoiding his mother in the kitchen, and he'd had enough of people already in the few hours it had taken to get there. Though he'd lived in Tokyo for the past four years, he hadn't forgotten the basic layout of Kyoto. He had grown up there but had moved to Tokyo after Seimei's 'death'. It wouldn't take him much longer to get to the square to take some photos. He needed some still life and scenery shots for his school's photography exhibit, which his sensei had entered him into without consulting him. While he knew it was being done out of the kindness of the young woman's heart, it still annoyed him. She wanted him to get out more and take photographs of happier things-as most of his work for class were depressing in some manner and more often than not were left in black and white-and was determined to make him do so if it killed him. Or her. Whichever came first.

Upon arriving to the Square, he took a seat on a raised slab of concrete that surrounded the path on the innermost side to protect the gardens. Stretching under the sun and adjusting the hood to his hoodie so it was no longer covering his plum eyes, Ritsuka reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a camera carrying case. He pulled out the dull black camera he had gotten for his birthday from Yuiko and Yayoi a year prior, leaving behind the filters he had bought for it in the case. He removed the lens cap and rubbed at it with his sleeve to make sure it was clean. A patch of bright yellow tulips sat behind him amongst a bed of red tulips. He sighed and adjusted the camera's focus on where the red and yellow met. Snapping a picture with the telltale 'click' of the camera echoing in his mind, all thoughts of Soubi and Seimei and all the nonsense that went with them faded into nothing. While he used photography mainly to capture moments in his life as memories should he lose his memory yet again, he couldn't deny that it was a great way to escape his reality, if only for a few moments. The click of the camera and the use of his mind to focus on new subjects and choose new angles filled his mind like nothing else could. When he was twelve, intrusive thoughts about Soubi-some more vulgar then others-would often invade his mind without warning in classes. Now, he could focus on projects instead so that if the sensei interrupted him, he'd have something to say other than Soubi's name. He preferred taking photos of people and focused his mind on finding the right subject in the area. It wasn't what he needed for the show, but it would get him in the zone and help him clear his mind enough to take photographs of something other than cliché flowers and water. He turned around on the concrete slab so he could observe people walking by.

He spotted businessmen in their nicely pressed suits rushing around with phones pressed to their ears, teenagers holding hands and reveling in one another's company, and even children scurrying around chasing toy balls or one another. None of them really caught his interest. They were plain, average, ordinary people that fit into a cliché stock photo montage. He sighed and rested his chin on his palm. His sensei wondered why he didn't like class assignments all that much. He'd much rather just make memories or take photos of interesting things. Like a wedding or a pool party. This kind of stuff was just…ugh. He'd come to Kyoto looking to escape the big city monotony, but he'd only succeeded in finding it again but with people he'd never seen before. Looking around again, his gaze landed on a group of boys about his age surrounding a park bench and leaning close to whisper in hushed tones. His neko ears twitched under his hoodie as he watched. Now here was something out of the ordinary. He'd heard that there were a couple teenage gangs forming in the area, but the police had been doing a pretty good job of cracking down on large groups of people hanging out in well populated areas. The boys he was watching didn't seem like they fit into some sort of gang subculture, and there were only four of them. Still, the secretive way they were behaving was cause for intrigue. He noticed they kept shifting their gazes towards him and he gulped. He didn't detect any kind of power coming from the boys, but that didn't mean that they weren't a couple of units. He had hoped that he'd be safe from attack in Kyoto. But perhaps he was mistaken. He groaned as he saw the boys get up and walk in his direction. He fixated his gaze down a different cobblestone pathway and debated getting up and making a brisk walk for it. Running would only cause him to collide into slower moving people or attract attention that he didn't really want on him. Before he could do anything, the boys encircled him.

"Hey." A boy in a bright green baseball cap greeted him.

"Uh…hi…" Ritsuka muttered, looking up at the boys from underneath his hood.

"You look like you're busy and all, but we were wondering. You didn't happen to go to Kyoto Prep at one point, did you?"

"Yeah, that was my elementary school." Before he'd moved anyway. "Why do you ask?"

"We just thought you looked familiar." Another boy informed him. "You wouldn't happen to be Aoyagi, would yo?"

Ritsuka's ears twitched. Did they really recognize him from his old school or were they a couple units trying to get him to let his guard down?

"Yeah…?"

The other boys laughed and Ritsuka saw relief flood over the face of the one who had first spoken.

"God, that would have been awkward if it wasn't you." He gave Ritsuka a good natured slap on the back of his shoulder.

"Do I know you…?" Ritsuka wondered

"Ouch, that hurts." One of the other boys said. "Takuya, Hiroshi, Daichiru, Hideki?" He pointed to each of them in turn. "We were in class together before you left…?"

Ritsuka flushed. Now he remembered these boys. They had been part of his group of friends before he'd lost his memory.

"Sorry, my memory isn't what it used to be." Ritsuka stated. "Amnesia."

"Man, that blows." One of the boys plopped down next to him without asking.

Ritsuka shrugged. "Something you get used to living with."

"Why'd you leave anyway?" The final boy wondered, scratching at shaggy brown bangs as his neko ears twitched.

"Dad got a better job offer in Tokyo." Ritsuka stated. "Besides, somehow going to the same school where my brother was murdered doesn't feel the greatest."

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that." Takuya, who Ritsuka recognized as the one with the hat, stated. "Did they ever catch who did it?"

"No."

"Bummer." Daichiru added.

Ritsuka shrugged. "It's been years now anyway. I doubt they'll ever catch him. Or her. Or them. Whoever."

He ducked his head to look over his camera before they caught him smirking and wondered why. It wasn't like he could actually tell them Seimei was the murderer, not the victim.

"You don't sound like you really care." Hiroshi stated. "You alright?"

"I'm…numb about it…it's been years, and I guess I've just accepted that they're never going to catch his killer."

"Still sucks." Daichiru stated.

Ritsuka shrugged. "Yeah."

"So, sore subject, clearly." Hideki offered. "Change in topic. What have you been up to since you left?"

 _Therapy, falling in love with a much older blonde male, fighting in spell battles, learning the truth about his brother's death, an abusive mother that almost killed me a few times, my father leaving for whatever reason and hooking up with another woman, and dealing with stalkers that wanted to fight. You know, normal stuff for a teenager to be dealing with._

"Nothing really. Just trying to adjust to my new school and suddenly becoming an only child." Ritsuka replied instead. "Oh, and photography." He held up his camera.

"Some things never change."

"No, they don't." He agreed.

While it was nice to play catch up with his old friends, he really just wanted to get back to work so he could make it home by curfew. Without Soubi around to patch him up when his mother went on a more violent rampage and injured him, he had to rely on stealth to get around her and trying his hardest to not upset her and at least _pretend_ to be her perfect, original Ritsuka again. He knew he couldn't fool her one hundred percent of the time, but once and a while it was nice to know she was as easy to manipulate as his sensei whenever they asked about a new injury and he gave some fake, off the top of his head, story to explain it.

"So…um…what's new with you guys…?" He wondered.

"My parents just had a baby about a month or so ago." Daichiru announced. "I'm a big brother now."

"Congratulations." Ritsuka offered a small smile he hoped they couldn't see through. "Brother or sister?"

"Sister."

"Nice."

"I guess." He shrugged.

"My father got promoted so we moved out of that shack of an apartment and have an actual house now." Hideki commented. "Finally I have my own room. You can't imagine what it's like sharing a bedroom with three other people just so your parents can save money with a smaller apartment and so the girls can have their own room."

Hibiki was one of the youngest in his family, having two older brothers, two younger sisters, and older twin brother and sister. Ritsuka had been to his house once to work on a school project and it was loud, chaotic, and crowded. Needless to say, they worked at Ritsuka's place or at school instead from that moment on.

"My sister's getting married to Gumo in the fall. I don't really want to go, but my parents said it would be rude not to and are making me do it." Takuya offered.

"About time." Ritsuka cracked a smile. "Wasn't she dating him back before I left?"

"Yeah, they've broken up three times but always go right back to one another." He laughed. "I told her it was a sign from Heaven that she wasn't meant to marry this guy, and she almost decked me."

"I'd like to have seen that."

It was well known that Takuya's sister Sakura ruled over her little brother with an iron fist. She was only four years older than him, meaning that Ritsuka and Seimei had a larger age gap between them then they did, but she took control as if he was a toddler and she was in her thirties. In reality, she was only twenty-one.

"I did." Hiroshi cracked a smile. "It was hilarious…until he almost shoved me into the pool with my new phone in my pocket." He sighed. "Nothing new really going for me. Though we did win the city Soccer tournament twice since you left."

"Finally." Ritsuka muttered. "Our school sucked when it came to sports. No offense."

"None taken. I know we were terrible."

The boys laughed. Ritsuka cleared his throat, wanting to be let out of the conversation but at the same time not wanting to be rude and not wanting to leave it. After his memory loss, most of his classmates had been put off by his new personality and had stopped talking to him. At least now, his old friends were willing to speak with him again.

"Well, you look busy, so we'll let you go." Daichiru stated. "Unless you want to go with us? We're heading down to Seven-Eleven."

"Um…I should really work on my project…"

The desire to have back at least a small portion of his old life, of the old Ritsuka, gnawed at his heart as he spoke. He broke into a grin and opened his bag to put his camera away.

"But you know what? I've got plenty of time. I'll go with you guys. Thanks."

"Hey, no problem." Daichiru shrugged one shoulder. "Just feels a little odd, how things ended when you left. Our group kind of split off into two, taking you and Kimizuka-chan away."

He was referring to Kimizuka Osamu; Ritsuka's best friend from his old school who had stuck with him even after his memory loss and personality shift. They were in photography club together and remained friends even after he left. She'd even gone as far as to track him down in Tokyo to visit him after school one day, by cutting her afternoon classes. He was the only one allowed to call her Osamu, outside of family, for the longest time. But after she'd befriended Yuiko, she allowed her to call her by her name, too.

After packing his camera away in its carrying case and then into his messenger bag, Ritsuka stood to join his former friends.

"Ready?" He wondered.

"Yeah, let's go." Hideki agreed.

Though he remembered the city well enough to get around on his own, Ritsuka chose to fall in step with his old friends, albeit slightly behind them, and follow them to the shop instead. It had been a long time since he ever felt this included amongst his peers.

000

About half an hour after joining his former friends on their trip, Ritsuka was starting to feel more comfortable. It was if things hadn't really changed between them, although he knew for certain they had after his memory loss. They still told the same old jokes and rehashed the same old stories of times long past as if they were still spending time together every day. Unfortunately, his time with his old friends had to come to an end soon so he could get back to working on the school project. They had insisted on walking him back to the park.

"Well, it was good to see you, Aoyagi." Daichiru stated. "Er…Ritsuka-kun."

"Just Ritsuka, please." Ritsuka replied, taking a sip of his Slurpee. "I don't mind."

"Still feels a little weird to call you by your name. We're so used to honorifics." Hibiki stated.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm just so used to it, I forget that you guys never called me by it."

"Maybe we should from now on." Hibiki laughed.

"We'll let you get back to your project." Takuya stated. "If you ever have the time, come back and we'll hang or something."

"I almost always have time." Ritsuka muttered, tail swaying. "I just never come over since it takes so long and, honestly, I didn't think anyone around here other than Osamu wanted anything to do with me."

"Yeah, things got real awkward after the whole Seimei thing…" Takuya trailed.

Silence reigned between them, other than the general sounds of the area. The park was slightly more crowded, and street vendors were beginning to set up shop.

"Just don't be a stranger, alright?" Daichiru smiled. "You have our numbers now."

"Yeah, and you guys have mine." Ritsuka nodded.

"I never thought I'd see you with a cell phone." Hiroshi laughed.

"Yeah, it wasn't my idea." Ritsuka stated. "My ex-boyfriend got it for me. A few years ago."

The other boys each had a look of surprise on their faces at that.

"What?"

"Ex-boyfriend?" Daichiru wondered.

"Yeah." He shrugged one shoulder. "What about it?"

"Just uh…"

"We didn't know you were…you know…"

"Oh, I'm not. It's nothing like that." Ritsuka shook his head in denial. "It's the person, not the gender."

"Always thought you and Kimizuka would end up together one day." Hiroshi commented.

Ritsuka flushed. "I never thought of that, but it's unlikely."

"Sure it is." Daichiru laughed, slapping Ritsuka on the back.

"But hey, a boyfriend that buys you a _cell phone_? Where did you find him, and does he have a sister?" Hiroshi laughed.

Ritsuka smiled fondly. "Only child, sorry." He replied. "But he was friends with Seimei."

"So he's older then."

"You could say that." Ritsuka laughed.

"Well your brother's seventeen."

"He's older than Seimei."

"Do we want to know how much?" Daichiru wondered.

"A couple years…"

"Last I checked, half a decade was more than a couple." A strong, slightly feminine voice countered.

Ritsuka's ears perked as his friends looked surprised and turned toward the sound of the voice. Sitting on the little wall Ritsuka had been sitting on before, was a tall, thin earless male with raven black hair and chocolate eyes. He was sitting with one leg hanging off the side of the wall and the other one perched up on the wall, playing a video game on a handheld system that he held up against his bent knee. Though he didn't look up from the game, Ritsuka saw a sly smirk cross his pale, thin lips. The teen recognized the elder male, but couldn't think of where he knew him from.

"Do we know you?" Hiroshi wondered.

"No, but I _highly_ doubt you want to." The elder teen kept mashing away at buttons on his system.

"Then why join the conversation?"

"Can't help it. You're loud enough for everyone around you to hear. And since I have some insider knowledge about the task at hand that _Aoyagi-kun_ doesn't seem willing to talk about."

The way he practically hissed Ritsuka's name made the raven haired neko groan in recognition.

"I think he's giving us enough information for not having seen us in so long." Takuya pointed out.

The earless male shrugged. "I suppose so."

"What are _you_ doing here?" Ritsuka wondered, eyes as cold as his voice. "Don't you live far away or something?"

"I'm not from here, no." The man confirmed. "However, I'm here to meet up with a friend who went home for the spring break. He's just late. As usual. Probably with that little brat again."

"Someone sounds jealous." Takuya laughed.

The earless male looked up from his console finally, eyes giving him a scolding glare that made his ears flatten and tail wrap around his leg.

"Come on, Akame, he's joking." Ritsuka muttered.

The earless teen cocked an eyebrow. "Ah, so you _do_ remember me." His smirk sent a chill up Ritsuka's spine. "That makes me happy. I thought you had forgotten who I was."

"Kind of hard to forget _you_." Ritsuka scoffed.

"You know this guy, Ritsuka?" Daichiru wondered.

"Yeah, he's friends with Seimei."

"Seimei doesn't have friends." Akame corrected. "He has servants."

"Who are stupid enough to bend to his every whim." Ritsuka rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't you be off killing someone or something like that."

Akame rolled his eyes. "Nah, I'm out of the killing people business these days."

"Please tell me he's kidding…" Daichiru paled.

"I would rather think you'd _want_ me to not kill people." Akame blinked in confusion, his smirk now a sugary sweet smile.

"When _you're_ behaving and not causing trouble, that's when I start to worry." Ritsuka offered, making Akame sneer at him.

"And why is that, _Aoyagi_?"

"Because you're _always_ up to something."

"You don't know that." Akame scoffed.

"I know enough." Ritsuka folded his arms over his chest, ears flattening against his skull.

"Should we get going…?" Daichiru wondered. "It looks like you guys have to talk about something…"

"Not really, no, but you guys were going anyway so I guess it's alright. I can handle him."

Akame snorted. "Big talk without your boyfriend there to protect you." He hissed the term 'boyfriend' as if it were offensive.

"It bothers you that he has a boyfriend?" Takuya questioned.

"Oh, no, I have one, too. Sort of." Akame waved his hand in dismissal.

"He and Soubi don't exactly get along." Ritsuka corrected.

"He broke my finger." Akame stated.

"You deserved it." Ritsuka shrugged.

"Ritsuka!" Hiroshi scolded. "What's wrong with you?"

"He's an ass."

Ritsuka glared at Akame, daring him to say any different or blame his brother like he tended to do when backed into a corner. Akame shrugged.

"We'll…get going…" Hideki stated slowly.

"Yeah, I'll let you guys know when I get home."

"Alright, see you."

His old classmates bid their goodbyes and left, whispering and looking back at them to make sure Ritsuka was alright. He waved the last time they looked and made sure they rounded the corner and didn't look back before turning to Akame.

"You have a lot of nerve coming to see me." Ritsuka snarled.

"Hey, it's a free park. I can come and go here when I please." Akame shrugged, mashing away at buttons on his game. "It's just happenstance that you were here."

"You said you were here to visit a friend. You have friends?"

"Just sempai, but that's none of your business. I've seen the _winners_ you hang with, and I'm not talking Zero."

Ritsuka's ears flattened. "Have you been watching me?"

"Seimei may or may not have ordered me to keep an eye on you and wiretap your house."

Ritsuka rolled his eyes. "That doesn't surprise me in the slightest." He muttered. "Should I be disturbed or impressed…?"

Akame chuckled. "If that doesn't shock or bother you, then it means you know more than he thinks you do."

"Like everyone else, Seimei thinks I'm an uninformed _idiot_." Ritsuka sighed. "I'm smarter than you guys give me credit for, you know."

Akame shrugged. "I'd say that that doesn't surprise me but, honestly, it really does. Not from what Seimei has said or anything but what I've seen."

"What you've seen?"

"You've basically left your happiness up to Agatsuma. Without him, you're a disaster. I've heard you whine and mope and cry over him vanishing. Wise up, kid. He left for you."

"For _me_? Don't make me laugh." Ritsuka scoffed. "He left because _Seimei_ ordered him to. He _promised_ he'd never leave me or hurt me, then he went and did the exact same thing that he promised he wouldn't do. He disobeyed my order to stay because, in the end, it's Seimei over me. If he had to choose, I'd have been left in the dust a long time ago. Maybe he would never have searched for me in the first place. But because Seimei _ordered_ him to find me, to serve me, to love me, and then to leave me, he went and did it. Any loyalty he has to me means _nothing_ when Seimei is concerned."

"Aw is somebody jealous of his big brother?" Nisei chastised him. "How pathetic, Aoyagi. You're so angry you've been blinded to the truth."

Ritsuka rolled his eyes. "I'm not angry, just irritated…"

"Close enough. Two sides of the same coin, yadda, yadda, yadda." He paused his game and closed the system to look at Ritsuka with a more level and focused gaze. "Bottom line? Get over yourself. Agatsuma left so Seimei would back off and leave you alone. Had he chosen you instead…?" He chuckled. "I hate to think of what my master would do to him…to both of you."

"Seimei would never hurt me."

Nisei scoffed. "Or so you think. You and I know both know full well that my master, your brother, will take down anyone and everyone that gets in his way. If you're a fool to do so, then that's your own problem. Your own funeral, most likely."

"Because he'd order you to kill me? Or because you would because you can't stand the fact that Seimei pays the majority of his attention to me."

Nisei's lips pressed into a fine line. "Hey, your brother pays enough attention to me. I'm not an attention hog, and I'm not the jealous type." His expression said otherwise. "When it comes down to it, you can betray him in the end, but I'll always be there. He'd my other half, my true Sacrifice whether you and blondie like it or not."

"Don't mention him around me, would you? I'm just starting to get over him…"

"Heh, about time." Nisei smirked. "It's been over three years, hasn't it?"

"It has been, yes." Ritsuka nodded. "So?"

"So you should have gotten over it a while ago, Loveless."

"Don't call me that."

"I mean, even your name says you're destined to be alone, doesn't it? So why should it surprise you that everyone you care about has up and deserted you, hm?"

"You're an ass, you know that, Akame?"

"I was made well aware of this fact a long time ago. It seems like you have forgotten, however."

Ritsuka groaned. "Why am I even talking to you? I must be out of my mind." He ran a hand through his hair.

"Well, considering the Aoyagi blood that runs through your veins, I would have to agree with that sentiment. It was only a matter of time, actually."

"Shut up."

"I mean, come _on_ , kid. Your mother's delusional, your brother's a power-hungry serial killer obsessed with his brother, your father's a spineless oaf, and then there's you. The fifteen-year-old who only has memories of the past five years of his life and went through a _complete_ and utter personality change that coincided with your memory loss. Would you be _that_ surprised to learn you were going insane, hm?"

Ritsuka rolled his eyes. "Last I checked, that memory loss was caused by _your_ spell."

Nisei cocked an eyebrow. "Got some memories back?"

"A few, yes." Ritsuka replied. "They come in bits and pieces."

"Hm, how peculiar. A spell shouldn't just wear off like that…"

"Yeah, well, it is. Probably because you were weak and untrained at the time, from what I've been told."

Nisei nodded in consideration. "As good an explanation as any, I suppose." He shrugged.

"This whole spell stuff isn't really my forte." Ritsuka stated. "I've got some memories back, but not all, and anything I was taught before doesn't exist in here." Ritsuka tapped his head. "I've got what Yoji and Natsuo have taught me, along with Breathless, Soubi, and those idiots over at Septimal Moon have told me, but that's it. I'm basically clueless."

"And useless. How the hell you and Agatsuma managed to defeat me is something I'll never know."

"My brother refused to assist you. I may not be good, but two against one aren't good odds."

"The odds are significantly reduced when you're paired with a useless opponent."

"Then I have no idea how my brother manages to win the battles you two get into."

"Harsh, Aoyagi." Nisei chuckled. "Maybe I was going easy on you so Seimei wouldn't kick my ass later on."

"Or perhaps my Soubi is more powerful than you."

Nisei glared but didn't counter it. "He's simply been at this longer than I have."

"And was trained better. Did you even attend the Academy?"

"For a short while. Got pulled out by my father when they moved. Something about me not being able to visit family or have them visit."

"Little did they know."

"Yeah, little did they know…"

Only affiliates with Septimal Moon and/or the Academy, Septimal Moon members, and students and staff at the Academy were allowed within the walls of the secretive Fighter's school.

"Can we just not talk about this? I don't feel like having a therapy session with you, of all people." Ritsuka's tail wrapped around his leg. "I already have a therapist. And I do need to get going before I miss the last train that will get me back to Tokyo in time to make curfew."

He began to walk off, but Akame's voice stopped him.

"Katsuko-sensei, the Ormori clinic. Every Wednesday at four pm after school. You take the bus there, without Soubi as of late, and take the elevator up to the sixth floor." He recited.

Ritsuka looked over his shoulder, stopping dead in his tracks.

"How…did…?"

Akame smirked. "I know more about you then you realize, Loveless."

Ritsuka hushed him, joining the raven on the wall. He sat down, dropping his bag at his feet and huffed.

"Do I even want to know how you know that much about me? I mean, I know Seimei is kind of obsessed with me, but…"

"Oh, I didn't find out from Seimei. He's not the only one obsessed with you, you know."

"Huh? Then who…? Soubi…?"

"Mhm." Nisei nodded.

"Yeah, right."

"I'm serious. Look, I'm not around Seimei now as much as I could be, I know, and Agatsuma probably isn't either. But when we were stuck in one bedroom of that wretched old woman's house, he wouldn't shut the hell up. Always painting, always muttering to himself…" He sighed. "I admit I'm not exactly high on the ladder of sanity, but I don't think Agatsuma is faring too well, either."

"How do I know you're not lying about this?"

"Agatsuma was your first kiss."

"Most people who know us know that."

"On a park bench. And you freaked out and almost left. Then you had to fight Breathless with no idea of what the heck you were doing."

"I…alright, there's no way you could have known that…if you had been watching, he would have detected you."

"That's right. So are you going to listen to me now?"

Ritsuka pulled out his phone, flipped it open, and checked the time. "I have about twenty minutes before I need to leave to catch the bus to the train station."

"Alright."

"Well?" He could feel one hell of a migraine coming on.

"Look, I've been watching you, I admit, for Seimei for quite some time. Ever since Agatsuma left, all you've been doing is sitting around moping the big oaf."

"Hey…come on now…"

"And it's rather depressing. You think he doesn't care about you? You're wrong. All he thinks about, talks about, is you. So stop moping and thinking he left because he no longer cares about you."

"He left because Seimei ordered him to. Don't kid yourself, Akame."

"I'm not." Nisei leaned back on his palms. "I've talked to the guy, well more like listened to him yammer on about you to himself. He left for you, not for Seimei."

Ritsuka glared. "You really think so? And why would leaving me alone in a graveyard in a part of town I _barely_ knew, for my _brother_ , be something to do for _my_ benefit?"

"Yeesh, you're a cynic, you aware of that?"

"Can you blame me?"

"I suppose." Nisei shrugged. "Look, I know your brother is obsessed with you in every sense of the word. But the one thing more powerful than his love for you?" Nisei leaned closer. "Power." He hissed. " _Control_."

"So…?"

"If Agatsuma had defied him for you, with _me_ there with your brother, don't you realize that a fight would have ensued? Beloved versus Loveless? And since he's tied to Seimei, Agatsuma wouldn't be able to fight for you. You'd get hurt, enter a full restriction…and who knows. I doubt you'd be able to handle it since you're pretty green with all this. What do you think would have happened to you if you were unconscious and Seimei destroyed Agatsuma? If you woke up to find the man that you were _so_ in love with, dead at your feet. And who would you tell? The police? Let's see how that would go. 'My dead brother isn't really dead and made his servant do it because this servant wouldn't listen and follow his orders'. Can you see how well that would go? Or your therapist. Do you think she wouldn't have thrown you in a ward the moment you closed your mouth? Oh, and your friends would worry and think you were losing it. Your sensei wouldn't believe it. And your mother…? Oh she'd beat the life out of you for making up a lie like that about her precious _Seimei_."

Ritsuka shuddered, and it wasn't from the chill in the air. "You don't think he'd really do that…would you…?"

"I know exactly what Seimei would do and what he would order me to do. Order Agatsuma to stay still and silent, order me to kill him…and we'd both have to do that. And what do you think your dear brother might have done to the person that threatened his ever so fragile control and power? That person being _you_ , by the way. No matter how attached to you he is, he can't let you get away with having a toy that was meant for him."

"Soubi wasn't _meant_ for him…Soubi was a blank Fighter. He could have gone to anyone, but Ritsu chose my brother like an idiot."

"Minami is screwed up in more ways then you can ever imagine." Nisei shook his head. "But that's beside the point."

"I'm aware. He raised Soubi. I'm well aware of what a twisted individual he is."

"Good, then we don't have to go into details about it."

"No, we don't."

Silence was only broken by chirping birds.

"Well? No rebuttal to anything I've said? You're normally quick witted, Aoyagi, for a Sacrifice."

Ritsuka rolled his eyes. "Just because I'm not a Fighter, it doesn't mean I can't use my words."

"Really? Because you couldn't manage to figure out the words to tell Agatsuma how you really feel about him."

"Shut up." Ritsuka flushed. "I wasn't always certain of how I felt, alright? Not that it's any of your business, but I'm not the type of person to fall in love with the first guy that shows me even an ounce of perfection just because my father is never home. I'm not that pathetic."

"But you're pathetic enough to go around moping for months on end thinking the one person you _do_ love in that manner no longer loves you? Even though it's not true, it would be pathetic."

"You say it's not true, but I know you're a liar and a manipulator, Akame." Ritsuka replied. "For all I know, you're just building me back up so my jerk of a brother can tear me down again later."

"Ouch, that stings." Nisei faked injury, grabbing his chest. "Can't you have a little faith that I'm telling the truth?" He gave Ritsuka puppy dog eyes.

"That won't work on me. And no, I can't. You're just like my brother."

"I am?"

"The moment I try and trust you, you'll go behind my back and stab me in it." Ritsuka growled. "Give me one reason I should trust you."

"I'm not lying."

Ritsuka glared. "If that's your only reason, you're dumber then I thought."

Nisei looked at his watch. "You're going to miss that bus, you know."

Ritsuka looked at his phone. "Damn it. That's what I get for talking to you. Ugh, I'll never make the bus now."

"Need a ride, Aoyagi?" A voice asked from behind him.

Ritsuka turned to spot a sandy haired male with ears and a key ring spinning around his finger standing behind him. He looked familiar.

"About time you got here, Sempai." Nisei huffed, standing on the ledge and walking along it. "I've been waiting forever, biding my time by talking to the ungrateful brat."

He hopped off, nearly crashing into the other male when he lost his footing.

"Watch it, Nisei." Sempai said, catching the raven with an arm around his waist.

Ritsuka sighed. "I should get going. Glad your friend showed up so you won't follow me home."

"Why on Earth would I do that?" Nisei blinked confused chocolate pits at him.

"For Seimei, naturally."

"He wouldn't leave if he was waiting on me." Sempai stated. "Do you remember me, by the way? Fearless?" he showed Ritsuka his head.

"Uh…yeah…you've got that little girl for a fighter, right? She used playground equipment in her spells?"

He flushed. "Let's not discuss that ever again."

"Are you kidding me?" Nisei groaned. "And here I go working my fingers to the bone to write up new spells for the brat, and she doesn't even use them?"

"This was a while ago, Nisei. Before Seimei came back." Fearless made a face like he was disgusted. "Sorry, I know he's your brother, Loveless, but I can't stand the guy."

"That's what Kio says, too. Don't worry, I'm not exactly fond of my brother either anymore. Since he took Soubi…"

"What the hell is up with your family and your fascination with Agatsuma?" Nisei scowled. "I mean, he's got you that's in love with him, Seimei that's pretty useless without him if I'm not with him…you're both obsessed."

Ritsuka flushed. "Am not. Now I really need to get going or I'll miss my train…"

"I'll give you a ride." Fearless offered. "It's not far from here, and we've got plenty of time before our tournament starts."

"Tournament?"

"Gaming." Nisei replied. "I doubt you'd be interested."

"I play Wisdom Resurrection and I've played a bit of Monster Hunter, but gaming isn't really my thing."

"You need to expand your horizons." Fearless laughed. "Come on, I'll give you a ride. I know you have to be home by a certain time, right?"

"How did you know?"

"Agatsuma." Fearless stated. "I saw him around with Seimei and Nisei one day and decided to be a pain in your brother's backside."

"And you guys talked about me?"

"You sort of come up a lot when Agatsuma and Beloved are involved. They're obsessed with you."

"Ha, I told you." Nisei stuck out his tongue. "Agatsuma is still in love with you, you dumb brat."

"Hey…" Ritsuka's ears flattened and the hair on his tail stood on end.

"Be nice, Nisei."

"Oh, Mimuro, you and I both know that's not in my box of tricks."

"You're pretty nice to me."

"It's an act. Everything he does is an act."

Nisei glared.

"No offense, Mimuro-san, but I don't exactly trust anything he says or does."

Mimuro shrugged. "Honestly, most people don't. Nisei's not a bad guy; he's just a very misled asshole sometimes."

"Nice to know I'm loved." Nisei rolled his eyes, finally slapping away his Sempai's arm.

"Of course you are. Your name's Beloved, isn't it?"

"So it Seimei's, but everyone hates him." Ritsuka pointed out.

Nisei giggled, covering his mouth with his hand. This innocent act was starting to grate on Ritsuka's nerves, but if it stopped Nisei from picking on him or mentioning Soubi again, he was fine with it.

"What about you? Do you hate your brother?"

"I'm still looking for a reason not to. My mind isn't made up on my brother. I don't approve of his actions, especially as of late, but I don't entirely _hate_ him either."

"That's good to know."

"And I don't particularly care about what you go and do with that information, so tell him if you want. Or keep it to yourself for a day when he really pisses you off. Or forget. I don't care."

Nisei smirked. "I wasn't thinking of that, but I think I'll tuck it away for a day when I really wanna stick it to Seimei."

"And get yourself killed in the process." Mimuro's fingers slid down Nisei's arm to his hand, where they intertwined. "I don't really like the idea of you dying."

"I don't really like the idea of me dying either. But when my time comes, it comes." Nisei shrugged. "After all, there's a death warrant on my head."

Mimuro frowned and pulled Nisei with him. "Come on, Aoyagi. My car is this way."

"Since when do you have your own car?" Nisei wondered.

"Mom got a new one, so I got her old one. A lot's happened since you've been gone, you know."

Ritsuka followed the friends-or couple, seeing how Nisei was practically all over the guy-towards the elder's car without saying a word to them or listening in on their conversation about the tournament or whatever. Could Soubi really still care about him…? No, Akame was trying to get his hopes up because it was funny to him when Ritsuka was broken. That had to be it. Soubi couldn't have left him for Seimei to protect him, nor did the blonde still have feelings for him; if he ever did. No, Soubi's love for him was genuine back then, he was certain about that now, but that obviously changed over time. Soubi no longer cared about him or he would have made _some_ kind of effort to contact him. Though with Seimei that would have bene hard, but he could have _tried_ to use their bond to call him. Ritsuka had managed to do it. Then again, he could have accidentally called Seimei instead and that wouldn't have been good.

He numbly got into the backseat of Mimuro's four-door whatever it was and buckled up as the blondish male drove off towards the train station. He had to find out if what Akame said was true, though he knew in his heart it wasn't. Why would Soubi want _him_ , of all people? His brother was a sadist, and could give Soubi the orders and punishment he craved but couldn't get from the pacifist. Yeah, people thought he was cute-mostly girls and old people-but so what? Power was more important. Who could provide Soubi with what he needed was more important. But what if what he needed most was love? Seimei couldn't provide that. Seimei could only love himself.

"Thinking, Aoyagi?" Nisei wondered, looking at him over his shoulder. "You're quiet."

"I don't like to talk if I don't have to. It's tiring."

Mimuro laughed. "You're like an old guy." He stated. "Come on, you're only what, fourteen?"

"Yeah."

"So lighten up a bit. I know you got shit you're going through, and I get that, but you can't take everything so seriously all the time." Mimuro stated. "You think you're alone but you really aren't."

"How so?"

"You have friends, don't you?"

"Yuiko and Yayoi are together, Yoji and Natsuo gave up waiting on Soubi and went home, Osamu still lives here in Kyoto and doesn't get to come see me much, if at all…I'm pretty much alone other than my therapist and my sixth grade sensei that I sometimes talk to." He shrugged. "But that's fine. It's my fate, isn't it? My namesake?" He let out a dry laugh. "And to think I've done everything I can to reject that…hell my own parents and brother don't even want me."

"Seimei does, he just doesn't know how to show it." Nisei shrugged. "I've talked to him in depth about things, you know, and since I'm his Fighter, I know things about him that even he doesn't know."

"Stalker." Mimuro laughed.

"You know it." Nisei winked at him before turning back to Ritsuka. "He just…wants to make this world a better place for you before he comes for you again. He's not just looking to rid the world of that wretched organization just for _fun_ you know. He's doing it for you."

"Everyone's doing something for me." Ritsuka looked out the window. "How about just being there for me instead of doing what they think I want?"

"Honestly, kid, some adults aren't all there. They think they know everything and what everyone else around them wants and needs, even when everyone else knows they don't want or need it." Mimuro explained, looking briefly at Ritsuka in the rearview mirror. "Seimei's over eighteen now, so that makes him an adult, and you know damn well Agatsuma is…"

"He certainly doesn't act it sometimes…"

"Some adults act more like children than actual children. Take your parents, for example. Your father runs away from his problems and your mother throws tantrums about hers."

"Tantrums that get me hurt."

Mimuro gave him a sympathetic look along with a light sigh.

"I know." He whispered at last. "But my point is that whether or not Seimei knows what you want, or Agatsuma knows what's best for you, they're both only thinking about you. All the time. Seimei's very _life_ is defined by you and what you think of him. And Agatsuma? Well he's an emotionless pole without you."

"So Kio said once…about how he was after Seimei died."

"So you get the point?" Nisei butt in. "They both care about you. They just have funny ways of showing it. Seimei's all kinds of messed up in the head, I'd know since I'm just like him, and Agatsuma's never really been shown any kind of affection that wasn't abuse or psychological torture. They don't know how to show it, so they do what they can."

"But if my name is Loveless, then how the hell could anyone ever actually care about me? For all I know, Seimei just wants to do this for me to have something to hold over my head so I'll help him in whatever his grand schemes are." Ritsuka shrugged. "As for Soubi, he's just doing what Seimei wants. He didn't come find me on my own, or come across me one day and think I was cute or some shit. He came to find me because Seimei told him to. Seimei said that if he ever died, Soubi should find me. And love me. From day one, this was all an order. I was just too naïve to see it as that. Because I didn't know about this world of how it works. And now I'm paying for it by getting too emotionally invested in a guy who was only invested in me because of my brother, who's obsessed with me. If anyone shouldn't know how to express love or how they feel otherwise, it should be me. Not them…"

"I think you've got the name thing all wrong." Mimuro stated.

"How so?"

"We don't all conform to our names. Hell, mine is Fearless, but I spend countless nights up late worrying myself to death that something has happened to Nisei, be it from Seimei or Moonless." Mimuro stated. "And as for Nisei, no offense, most people hate him. But his name is Beloved."

"So…?" Ritsuka wondered. "I'm all alone with no one to love me and my name is Loveless. I fit it to a T."

"You really think no one does? Seimei does, in his on twisted way. Agatsuma fell for you even though he was ordered to at first, but now it's genuine.

"Didn't one of your friends have a crush on you once?" Nisei tossed in. "The annoying loud one with pink hair?"

"Yuiko? She still does, but she's with Yayoi and knows I'm gay."

"Oh well, it counts." Nisei waved him off. "Honestly, I'm not fond of you for my own reasons…"

"You didn't scold Agatsuma for breaking his finger, and Seimei's more obsessed with you then he is with Nisei, who secretly wants to get in his pants." Mimuro snickered.

Nisei slapped his shoulder. "Asshole, I do not. Shut up."

His flush gave him away. That was the first time Ritsuka had ever been able to see him as a human instead of the monster hiding underneath his skin and behind his mask.

"Sure you don't." Mimuro teased.

Nisei slapped him again, rolling his eyes. " _Anyway_ , Aoyagi, I'm not all that close to you so my opinion is rather irrelevant." He explained. "But of all the people close to you, and I don't count the people you get your DNA from, the only one that doesn't give a damn about you is you."

Ritsuka blinked. Nisei smirked and turned to Mimuro to continue on their earlier conversation.

"Everyone hates Seimei…" Ritsuka muttered, not knowing or caring if the elder teens could hear him or not up front. "But he loves himself…everyone likes me…but I don't…"

"Now you're getting it." Nisei tossed to him over his shoulder, apparently having heard him speaking to himself in the back.

Ritsuka flushed. "My name…reflects how I feel about myself, not how others feel about me. Seimei's too."

Nisei nodded. "My entire family hates me, my ex-girlfriend I had in middle school hates me…"

Ritsuka snickered.

"What?" Nisei wondered.

"I never thought you were straight…" Ritsuka muttered, ignoring the death glare Nisei was giving him.

"I'm bi." Nisei huffed. " _Anyway_ , Mimuro is my only friend, and then I've got Seimei…but that's really about it. Hell, Seimei's allies hate both of us, and his former allies in Septimal Moon turned against him and want him dead."

"My mother loves Seimei to death, but my father thinks he's an asshole…"

"And he is, as your father should know. Since he's one, himself." Nisei smirked. "But as I said before, your parents aren't really relevant, since they're not in the picture anymore. You and Seimei are all that's really left."

"We have a brat of a cousin in Kyoto."

"She's not part of our world, or yours, so she's also irrelevant. Stop trying to argue with me." Nisei scoffed.

"Whatever."

"But now you get it, don't you? You think no one could love you because of your name. But you're a reflection of your name, not the people around you. And you love Agatsuma, no?"

"I do…" Ritsuka didn't have to think about that.

"So if you're capable of loving other people, it's not a reflection of how you feel about other people. So who's left."

"Me. My name is Loveless because of how I feel about myself…but I can't change that. It's my name, and your name is fate."

Nisei shrugged. "So change fate."

For the first time in a while, Ritsuka was stunned into silence.

000

Ritsuka sat up in his room later that night, working on the written part of his art project. He had managed to catch the last train out of Tokyo that would get him there before his four PM curfew, and he had managed to walk in the door five minutes early. His mother had come out of the kitchen and nodded to acknowledge him, but hadn't talked to him or tried to trap him since then. He simply locked himself in his room and got right to work. He couldn't get Akame's words out of his head. Change fate? Was it really that easy to do it? No, Akame had an easier time saying it then Ritsuka would ever have doing so himself. What he had learned about his name from the possible lovers wasn't too big of a surprise to him. Ever since his memory loss, which was as far back as he could remember, he'd had relatively low self esteem. Not even Seimei's brotherly love and affection could change that. He'd played happy with himself when asked by his therapist or his brother, but he knew that the feelings he'd portray to them wasn't real.

So maybe it _was_ possible that Soubi was still in love with him. Ritsuka stared at his blue cell phone on the corner of the desk, dark and lifeless without the red blinking light to alert him of an incoming message he had yet to open or a bright green light to alert of a call coming in. he hadn't spoken to even Yuiko today, but he had asked her the day before for privacy so he could finish his project, so he wasn't too surprised. The Zero brothers had stopped checking in with him on a regular basis a long time ago. He mostly spoke to them when they were all online in Wisdom Resurrection or they had some piece of news for him, but gone were the long days of laughter and joking around with the troublesome duo. He supposed it came with age, but he heard kids laughing outside earlier and knew that wasn't true when he stepped onto the balcony and saw that it was a group of teenagers strolling by without a curfew to worry about, or lenient parents to go home to whenever they felt like it. Even kids his age would still hang out and joke with friends without a care in the world. There was a bit of a divide going on between himself and the twins, but he couldn't bring himself to be bothered. Not when Soubi was still out there, possibly still in love with him.

Ritsuka was surprised when the red light on his phone started blinking. He flipped it open and saw the new message alert on the screen. The little picture of a blue butterfly under it that signified a specific person in his phone had him surprised. He opened the message, fingers trembling.

 _Ritsuka,_

 _I'm back. I hope you haven't forgotten me and have it in your heart to forgive me for what I've done._

 _Soubi *heart*_

Ritsuka flushed and leaned back in his chair. He clicked the compose button.

 _Soubi,_

 _How could I forget about you? Or stay mad at you? I hope you're well._

 _Ritsuka_

He was about to close his phone when he got a reply.

 _I'm fine; as fine as I can be without you at my side~_

What a flirt.

 _Glad to hear it._

 _I'd feel better if I could see you…_

Ritsuka hesitated. What if this was a trap set by Seimei?

 _Can you prove it's not you…?_

He was about to give up hope when the green button flashed on the closed phone. He grabbed it and put it to his human ear, answering the call by opening the phone.

" _Ritsuka?_ " A very familiar voice asked, though it was a tone deeper now then it had been the last time they'd spoken.

"Hello." Ritsuka replied after a minute.

" _I was worried I lost you._ "

"No…I…I'm here, Soubi…"

Silence.

" _Can I see you…?_ "

Ritsuka paused for a moment, uncertain. He wanted to see Soubi again, he really did, but could he handle it? What if Seimei showed up and ripped him away again?

"Is he done with you…?"

" _Hai_."

"He won't come back to take you again…?"

" _He won't._ "

"How do I know?"

" _You'll know when you see me._ "

"Okay…"

" _You'll see me?_ "

"Come over…"

" _When?_ "

"Tonight. In an hour."

" _Alright_." He could hear the smile in the blonde's voice. " _I'll see you then._ "

"Hai."

" _Until later, Ritsuka…_ "

"Soubi?"

" _Hai_?"

"I figured it out…"

" _Figured what out?_ "

"My name."

"… _Oh…?_ "

"Loveless…one without love…but I have friends that love me…so I know it's not referring to how others feel…"

" _Hai…?_ "

"I…love you…so I know it's not how I feel about others…"

"You do…?"

"Mhm…" Ritsuka paused. "It has to do with how I feel about me."

" _Ritsuka…_ "

"But I'm not going to let my name decide how I feel or how I think or act…only I can control that."

" _You can't defy your name…it's who you are…who you're…fated to be…_ "

"I'll defy fate."

Silence answered him, and he hung up. Soubi hadn't hung up or the phone would have beeped, but he was clearly stunned into silence like Ritsuka had been a little while ago by Akame and his friend.

Looking back at his project, Ritsuka selected a few photos to use and printed them on photo paper from the computer in his room. He took a couple photographs from his scrapbook and arranged the group on the poster board he was supposed to use. With acid-free glue, he secured the photos to the cardboard. A black sharpie was lifted from the desk and he signed his name with kanji on the bottom right corner in the permanent ink. He took a step back and grinned as a knock resounded on the glass window leading to his balcony. Though the curtains were shut, he could see a pale hand stained in blue paint resting there, knuckles against the glass to knock again. He took a deep breath and crossed the room with three steps.

Opening the curtains, he spotted Soubi standing there, cigarette almost finished and dangling from his lips as he gave a small, apologetic looking grin. Ritsuka unlocked the doors and held one curtain open.

"Come in." He ordered.

"Thank you." Soubi bowed as he walked through the door.

He was about to speak when Ritsuka slid the panel shut and wrapped his arms around him from behind in a gentle hug. Stunned, Soubi just stood there, one hand resting on Ritsuka's left arm around his midsection. They stood that way for a few minutes, silence bringing the room to a funeral home-like state.

"Do you know what day it is…Ritsuka…?" Soubi wondered.

"I don't." Ritsuka denied.

"We met…two years ago…on this very day…"

"We…did…" A small dopey smile came to Ritsuka's lips and he sighed. "You remembered…?"

"You didn't."

"I've gone through a lot since you've been gone." Ritsuka let go of the blonde, but his hand was grabbed and he was whisked in front of the taller male.

"You've grown…"

Ritsuka nodded. "A bit."

Before he had only reached Soubi's midsection. Now he was just below the cobalt eyed artist's armpit.

"Not just physically…"

"…Hai…" Ritsuka sighed. "It's been a while…there's so much I need to tell you…"

Soubi tilted his head up by the chin with one finger. "I've got all the time in the world."

Ritsuka was about to speak, but he was shushed by a gentle, yet hungry kiss. He let Soubi's lips rest on his for a few moments before kissing back just as the older was about to pull away. Soubi wrapped his arms around him. They battled with their lips for a few more minutes before Soubi released him.

"Your neck…"

Where there had once been bandages to hide a carved name, there was nothing but smooth, creamy skin.

"I told you…you'd find out when you saw me."

Ritsuka led him to the bed and made him sit down, gently running his fingers over the spot where, just two years ago, trails of blood would spill from his scarred name if he fought at Ritsuka's side or told Seimei a rare _no_. Soubi closed his eyes and tilted his head back, a gentle moan of satisfaction escaping his throat. Ritsuka leaned down and kissed the spot.

"But how…?"

"Akame and I both failed Seimei that day…when we fought Moonless…we both lost."

"Is Seimei…?"

"He's very much alive. He tossed me aside, said I was useless…" Soubi sighed. "Told Akame to get lost but they'd be in contact. I thought he'd say the same to me…but instead…" He gingerly touched his neck, fingers brushing Ritsuka's. "He carved my name away…scratched it out with his knife…"

Faint white lines were still visible running across the width of the twenty-three-year-old man's throat.

"Soubi…"

"He severed our bond…" Soubi pulled at the piano wire around him to hold up a frayed edge. "I am on my own now…not aligned with anyone…"

"You're not alone…you've got me…" Ritsuka muttered.

"That's…what I want to tell you…"

"Don't tell me you're leaving again…"

His heart fell. How could he have been so stupid to let the blonde back in his life? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"No, I'm not." Soubi's paint stained fingers gripped the end of his shirt and pulled it up.

On his side, blistering welts spelled the word 'Loveless' across his skin.

"What did you do…?"

Ritsuka was disappointed. How dare he mar that perfect pale expanse of skin like that?

"I thought of you…" Soubi replied, looking sadly at Ritsuka over the top rim of his thin silver glasses. "This…was not my doing, nor was it Seimei's…it just…"

"Randomly appeared one day…"

"It is the reason I failed Seimei…" Soubi sighed. "I couldn't properly fight for him…because…"

"You were too busy being prepared to fight for me…" Ritsuka's eyes widened a bit. "You…"

"I defied fate…"

So maybe _that_ was where Akame had gotten it from.

"And when you said that to me on the phone…" Soubi trailed.

"Someone I ran into in Kyoto suggested I do so." Ritsuka replied. "Akame…"

Soubi raised an eyebrow. "He'd be the one to use my circumstances against you…"

"He's right." Ritsuka looked down, fingers playing with his belt. "I hate my name. I hate it with a burning passion…and I refuse to succumb to it…I spent so long thinking that I had, that…I was too busy to see the real meaning behind my name. It took Akame and the Fearless sacrifice to get me to open my eyes…they said you talked about me a lot…"

"You were my only sanity…in a house full of madmen…" Soubi touched the side of Ritsuka's face with the back of his left hand.

"I hate my name, and I won't become it…I'll defy fate and learn to love myself as I am…my name will not define me, not as long as I'm alive and of enough sound mind to do so."

"Ritsuka…?"

"Sukidayo, Soubi." Ritsuka grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in for a hungry kiss.

Soubi was stunned at first, but the teen nibbling on his lower lip knocked him back to his senses and he pulled Ritsuka close as the raven haired neko straddled his leg, tail dancing lightly in the air. Ritsuka gently pushed him down onto his back on the bed and pulled back to kiss the spot where Seimei's name had once stood proud.

"How long…?"

"A year…and a half…" Soubi gasped as Ritsuka bit gently on his Adam's apple.

"And you're just coming back to me now?"

"He wouldn't let me leave, even if his name was gone for me. I feared t-too much for you…ah…if I tried…"

"Seimei won't hurt me."

"You don't know that."

"I'm certain of that." Ritsuka sat back up to look at the blonde in the eyes. "You once told me you have to make strong decisions and stick by them. Seimei won't hurt me. No matter what I do."

Soubi nodded pulling the teen into a kiss and running his free fingers over his twitching black neko ear. Ritsuka moaned gently into the kiss, cupping Soubi's face in both hands/

"Sukidayo…Soubi…"

"Sukidayo…Ritsuka…"

As the blonde flipped them over so he was straddling the teen, Ritsuka sighed in content. He buried his face in the blonde's shoulder, causing Soubi to still and just hold him.

He wouldn't succumb to this name, wouldn't let it rule or defy him. After all, if someone as broken as Soubi who didn't know how to love could manage to love him, then Ritsuka could learn to love himself, too.

 _ **Defy fate~**_


End file.
